To Love Thyself


Why do we find it so easy to love others, and so difficult to love ourselves….

By Trudy Parolin

It all begins with being at peace with yourself.  It is the main ingredient that we all need in life to understand and experience true well-being and joy with over all confidence. The relationship you have with yourself sets the standards for others that will love you as well.

For most people, it’s a lack of awareness, and by this I mean awareness of self….

By the Law of Attraction, what we put out, is what we attract. So, in short, you must truly be what it is that you desire in life.   We will experience the manifestations of what we feel AND think.  For most of us, we find it very easy to be kind to others, and to be patient with others, yet when it comes to ourselves, we tend to be harsh & less patient, and more often than not – far from kind.

With our own negative feelings and thoughts about ourselves, we can easily set the path to allow depression and self-hate to invade.   These expressions of a negative perception can be crippling to our overall well-being on all levels of life.  It not only interrupts the natural flow of our energy, but it also obstructs our sense of wellbeing with our natural life force energy.

Wanting to love yourself, but not loving yourself in the same breath, can be a very vicious circle; but circles CAN be broken!

We are born beautiful, pure, and of love…  As children we were naturally happy, and so were those around us.  We were taught to be considerate, loving & caring to others, to make them feel happy, to make them feel loved, yet somewhere along the way we have grown to put everyone and everything else first, and to put ourselves secondary – or even last.    It is not selfish to put yourself first!  In fact, it’s very important to do so!

You may think you need to LEARN how to love yourself, but actually the most direct way to love yourself is to turn your attention inwards to focus on  you, and the energy that is within you.  The energy that IS love.

Every experience in life we have had, shapes us to be the people we are today.  Be those experiences good or bad, they have taught us lessons about who we are, how strong we are, and in some instances, how not to be.  Life has its ups and downs, and in order to appreciate the good, we need to experience the “not-so-good”.  Without the rain, we cannot appreciate the sun and all it has to offer.  In turn, if we always focus on that rain, we will never see the beautiful flowers that bloom because of it.

There are different layers of self-love, and each one is a part of the journey that we call life. The hardest layer being self-acceptance.

I find that self-esteem and self-love are issues that are often related.  With low self-esteem it is possible that the root cause is a case of insufficient self-love.

When you don’t love yourself, you are basically telling the Universe that you are unworthy or undeserving of any love or positive outcomes that have the same vibrational match as love.

Learning to love yourself starts with making a conscious decision, an intention to become happy and lead a fulfilled life. Accept the things you cannot change – and what can you not change….? The past.

However, you can accept the past, knowing that because of it, you are the person you are today.  Be thankful for the experiences – all of them – both good and bad, for they are the experiences that have made you stronger, more compassionate, humble, and thankful.  Whatever the experience has taught you, accept it, embrace it, and be thankful for it.

Be thankful for the future that is yet to come, no matter what it holds. You cannot change the future, just as you cannot change the past, but by being present and living in the Now, you can surely help to shape your future.

Ask yourself: What do you want? Do you want happiness?  Be happy!  Do you want to be loved?  Be love!

While you’re learning how to love yourself, do as many things as you can to nurture yourself on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  See what draws you and evokes positive feelings … Yoga? Joining a gym? Reiki?  Maybe you want to learn to dance, travel or listen to music you love more often. Try to do at least one activity daily that is solely for you and your own self-nurturing.

As your self-appreciation increases, you will find that your self-trust also increases, and in turn, your self-doubt is greatly reduced. You’ll feel more empowered and grounded and overall – happy.

Areas where you previously felt stuck in your life will begin to open up, as if locks on the doors are being opened, and your energy to move forward in a positive manner will be very obvious.

As you learn how to love yourself, your experience of self-love will have a positive effect on not just yourself, but others around you! As you treat yourself more kindly, you will attract people who treat you the same loving way you are learning to treat yourself. The circumstances of your life will change to a more positive state as well, mirroring this new perspective of yourself.

However, nothing is going to happen if you do not make a conscious decision. And that includes attracting abundance.

I cannot state strongly enough – be kind to yourself. The way you treat yourself is the standard that you will set for others, and what is acceptable treatment towards you.

Besides the many personal benefits you will experience from learning how to love yourself, there is a gift you’ll be giving to all of your fellow beings: you will be uplifting to everyone.

Forgive those that have hurt you – you do not have to forgive the action, but release the negative feelings that come along with it – it will bring you peace & make you a happier person.

Enjoy your own company – if you can’t appreciate being alone with yourself then how can you expect someone else to appreciate it?  Get to know yourself – take the time for yourself and put yourself first.

Each day wake up and give thanks – no matter what it’s for. Make it a morning ritual – be thankful for the home that keeps you warm at night, for the snow that glistens under the moonlight, for the traffic that delays you (it’s probably where you need to be at that exact moment & time), for the family you have, etc. …

You are beautiful, you are worthy, you are love, you are a Blessing!